Aside

Do you know what music is?

Or rather, what music does.

Music is arriving at my the camp that’s been in my family for ages in the first time in years, and hearing that my long-lost cousins are listening to “The Weight”.

It’s discovering a new band whose sound is great, and then hearing them cover one of your favorite songs. 

It’s that instant connection you feel when your souls reach one another across the bridge of a song from the dirt.

It’s falling in love and feeling your heart expand each and every time you’re introduced to something both new and old.

Because this is a wheel that just keeps turning.

And the music will never die.

Not as long as we’re around.

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Why I’m Not Sad About Being Single on Valentine’s Day

Oh, Valentine’s Day. When I was a kid, I longed to be given a gift by my latest school crush. Then, I grew older and fell in love…which led to putting way too much pressure on this day.

Now here I am. This week, I’ve been seeing posts about the sad playlists to listen to, the rom-com’s to sob to, and the candy to shovel into the mouths of every single girl (or guy) out there. I just don’t buy it.

Being single isn’t such a bad thing. You hear it all over, but it really is true – you need to love yourself before anyone else can love you (or you can love anyone else). It took time, but I learned to love myself. I don’t need to feel bitter about being single on Valentine’s Day. I may not be in a relationship with anyone, but that doesn’t make the happiness I feel on a day-to-day basis any less validated, does it?

I don’t need someone to shower me with gifts and attention on this day to feel good about myself. I’m going to wake up in the morning, paint my nails with some cute little pink heart design because I’m a sucker for nail art, and go about my Friday just like every other. I’m not going to feel sad about heart-shaped balloons and couples in love. I’m going to be happy for them, and happy for myself, too.

At this point in my life, I have everything that I need. I’m working in the industry that I love. I have an awesome, crazy family and some (but not too many) good friends who always have my back. I have several self-improvement projects that I’m working on. I’m perfectly content within myself.

Honestly, I prefer to be single. I have too much going on in my life right now to worry about making time for someone else. The problem with dating is that sometimes we’re too easy to just jump into dating for dating’s sake. I’m not into that. Why should you spend your time hanging out with someone you’re not even really that interested in, when you could be channeling that time and energy into working on whatever it is that you’re passionate about?

I find that too often people aren’t dreaming enough. They’re so hung up on validating their worth with a relationship or the amount of love they receive that they let go of what’s really, truly important to them. It’s an ugly part of our society, and one that we too easily accept.

So, if you’re single today, join me. Celebrate loving yourself. Celebrate using your single time to paint, play guitar, bake, write, or invent. Do the “Single Ladies” dance around your apartment if you want to – because having the time to love yourself is surely something to be happy about.

The Move

It’s hard to move past something that was once your dream. We all experience this time and time again.

I haven’t been shy about expressing the sadness I felt about moving out of New York. I channeled everything I had into my future plans – which was a great idea, but then that plan didn’t work out so well, either. Of course, nothing goes smoothly when it comes to moving. My move to New York was far less than ideal, too, and I paid for it (both literally and figuratively) when I decided to jump into the deep end anyway. But, this time, when I saw that my new dream simply was not ready to be put into action, I found another plan.

It’s still a little weird not to be living in New York. I miss it a lot. I miss not having to worry about the weather, cleaning my car, or the bad roads. Hopping out the door and into a cab/down to the subway was all I needed to do to get anywhere. Entertainment was everywhere and on any given night I could go to any kind of show I pleased. It was wonderful, and I thought that nothing else could fit in my heart because New York expanded it so much.

I was wrong. I’m not in New York, but I’ve still found a community. There’s an alive and well music community – an absolute must for me. I’m still surrounded by interesting people who inspire me, are comfortable to be around, and generally fun to be with.

I’m happy here, and I know that as always, nothing is permanent. My next dream is still out there, and this place is just one step that may finally get me closer to where I want to be on my never-ending quest to grow as a person.

I’ve always been known as a stubborn person; a person who always goes after what they want until they have it. But, what I want just may have to happen in ways I didn’t originally plan. And I’m finally starting to learn that this is all just a part of the journey.